I forgot all the things that I would say.

Today wasn't a very good day.
I looked good, and my hair was well behaved...
I found some good music..
had some cake...

but my sister thinks I'm gay,
and I don't really have any friends at all.
It's pretty depressing.
I cried quite a bit.

But I talked to my mom for a bit,
and she actually...was mom-ish.
She did all the things moms are supposed to do,
and even fed me a line or two of that bullshit
mom stuff.
But it made me feel better,
and I spent pretty much the rest of the day doing things
I hadn't for a while.

Like dancing to The Cab and sining to
YMAEWK.
And watched Video On Trail.
FOB was on it.
And most of my favourite Jurors.

My good white bra broke, the underwire came right out when I took it off to take a shower.

But mom fixed it for me.
I did get quite pissed off before that,
while I was still in the bathroom.
Silently.

Today was kind of one of those 'If I don't laugh, I'll cry' days.

Good music for such a day:

The Killers ('Change Your Mind', 'Smile Like You Mean it' and more, but I don't have the other songs I like because I can't find my CDs.)
Fall Out Boy ((From Under The Cork Tree.))
Tokyo Police Club ('Cut Cut Paste', 'Cheer It On', 'Be Good')
Paper Route ('Cityscape', 'Are We All Forgotten')
The Cab ('High Hopes in Velvet Ropes' , 'Bounce')
You, Me, And Everyone We Know ('...Because I Spit Hot Fire' )
Valencia ('Where Did You Go?')
Voxtrot ('Firecracker')
and other stuff.
I don't really know,
I just kind of randomly listening to things today.

I'm still pretty mad at Jenn.
Not just for the gay thing, but for other things too.

She doesn't pay attention to the things I say.
She'll listen, but she isn't hearing it.
Or sometimes, she isn't listening at all.
I'll be talking, and she'll completly cut me off.
And if I ever ask her about something,
she doesn't really give much of an opinion.
It's hurtful, I never noticed before.

And Seasons. She just talks to me to be nice.
And she only even IMs me on facebook to ask if Jenn is home.

When I was saying to Jenn about it,
she was like "Yeah, cause she's /my/ friend." and was kind of laughing.
It made me feel stupid, because I remember a time before
when things were different.
I don't know what's happened for things to change.
But it really does make me sad.
Because I know she's lying to me too, about something.
The something that has to do with Gowri,
and it makes me more sad.
Why else would she feel so bad about it?

I'm always nice to her, and I compliment her and talk to her about things.
She doesn't talk to me about things because she says that I wouldn't understand,
and then complains about how she has no one to talk to later.
One of her reasons for thinking I'm gay is because I don't talk to her about boys.
A) What boys do I know to talk about?
B) Why would I when she doesn't.

What do we even talk about anyway that's anything interesting or important?
When do we even /talk/ ?!
It's usually some form of a one-sided conversation.

I'm always getting left behind by her. I'm always getting ignored, or pushed to the side or something.
First it was when she would go out, when we were both young.
And then when she moved out around that same time.
And now, it's because of her kids and her problems, and all of these things that make her life hard.

I wish we could be the kind of sisters that you read about,
the kind of sisters that you see all the time and watch movies about.
But I don't think we ever will be.

I'm going to end this now,
because I have to put songs on my MP3 and then go to bed.
Because tomorrow me and mom are gonig to Janets house.
I hope I wake up in a better mood then the one I am going to sleep in.

P.S.: Dollface, on first glance, he kind of looked like Kellan Lutz. But only a little bit. When I compared, there wasn't much similarities after all.