So when you see me falling backwards down the wall that says I'm still alive...

- 'I Can Barely Breathe' - Manchester Orchestra.

It's a depressing song.
But I love this bands style.
And I've been bordering on a depressive mood since
I walked in the house.
It all kind of came rushing at me at once,
and I almost got very sad and angry and caught up
in all the thoughts I tend to think.
But then I just shoved it away and put a smile on my face.
That actually worked, until about 7 when mom was nagging me to
go for a walk with her and the dog.
The sun was in the sky after a day of rain, and the clouds were whiteish gray at the bottom, and pure white at the top with streaks of sunset oranges and pinks.
It was pretty.
But I'd rather have been out there by myself than be walking with my mom.
We had to go at an achingly slow pace,
and the music was on at a low volume.
And she mostly talked about her weekend.
When I spoke, it was of the concert.
She listened, but I don't know.
She never seems to be terribly interested in things that I'm interested in.

No one ever seems terribly interested in things that I'm interested in,
or the things that I think. I feel like I haven't had the sort of conversation I would like at all, lately. Like the words are all resting on my tongue, and in the back of my throat...
and my brain hasn't even registered this, because it doesn't even know what those words are.
I miss Tany.
There are a thousand reasons.
Tomorrow I am going to practice guitar.
Actually going to do it.
I want to be able to sing my own songs,
able to write my own songs.
I think it would help.