Because I am the idiot that I am, I was reading through Tany's old blog posts.

'Well maybe everyone would be better off if left.'

Maybe she doesn't try because she thinks I'm better off.
I never thought about that before, but I saw those words and...
it just kind of made sense. I sort of forgot how she could be depressed like that...
whenever I remember things about her, she's always laughing.

I'm not very sad right now.
To use her own words:
I'm empty on the inside.
But not too much.
I've filled back up, slowly.
There's a bit of a way to go still,
but eventually...
And there's a lot of days where I'm full, and myself.
And a couple moments in each day when I'm that way.


I still can't help thinking that I was just a bad friend, though.