Today smells like spring,
even though it started SNOWING
(I am not kidding you, here)
yesterday.
INSANE.
But right now the sky is a jumble of blue
and white with tiny hints of gray,
and everything looks fresh.

I slept well despite the loss of an hour.
Got woken up with breakfast, pretty much.
Chris knocked on the door and asked if I wanted
eggs and bacon and toast, etc.
So I went into the living room and we all had breakfast.
But Jaylin was still sleeping, because
James and his dad were in the living room all night until 5Am
watching TV, and it kept her up.

Tyler is at Carolin's, Jenns bff since like...they were my age or so.
Because we drove out there last night and hung out.
She gave me this cute shirt, (well, for her it was a shirt.
On me, it fits like a dress) that is reallllyyy cute.
I love it. I've been trying to think of an outfit.
I think I'll save it until it's warm enough to go bare-legged.
I'm sick of wearing leggings and tights and things.

Yesterday, there was the Baby shower.
it was nice.
Lots of yummy food.
Lol, and I had a drink.
There was this pomegranate punch stuff,
made out of Pom and some other juices and maybe some pop,
IDK.
And then Aunty Sharon had some vodka, and mom was
putting some in hers. And I asked if I could have one, and
she let me. The first one she gave me, was waayy to strong.
I took one sip and just passed it back, and she made me one with lesser.
I drank about 3 quarters of it, but then I started feeling kind of sick.
So I went and ate some sandwhiches and then I felt better.
Lol, it was fun.
I liked it.

Anyway.
Mostly, me and Jenn just took pictures of ourselves
and of everyone else.
And just..yeah.
It was kind of boring, but yeah.
Not too bad.
And then after the baby shower, Chris and the kids came and picked up me and Jenn,
and we just went out and drove around.

Today, in the morning, I had to sort out the internet.
We got this one tech on the phone, and she was an idiot.
She kept telling me it was a vista problem when I knew that it
wasn't and she was just stupid. And she ended up hanging up on my mom,
so we called back and got someone else and she was nice.
She told us these jokes, and it was funny.
There was even one I got to spoil for her.
Because it was: "What do you call a smart blonde?"
And I was like "A golden retriver!"
and there was this other one, but I don't remember.
Anyway.
My internet is working again.
It wasn't working because we got Telus TV and the guy fucked it up,
and the digital cable ended up being stupid too.
But whatever. I get to order movies at least,
so I'm happy.

Today I need to clean up my room,
it's a mess.
And I also want to take a walk,
and sometime today I need to upload pictures
onto facebook and onto the computer.

There will be time for role playing today, I hope.
I have this one intro I was supposed to write,
and then the posts for Amy.
The intro is only coming before her because A) I need to warm up.
B) I've owed this intro for longer. Plus, it's a bit worse when you put it off and you've
only just started. =/
Lol. But i was supposed to do it when I was sick, and then the mega flu came
and it was just impossible.

Anywayy....yeah.

lolcatz +lookbook = http://lolbook.nu/

Was out and busy for the past couple days, just doing things that
I felt like doing at the time.
Haven't even BEEN on the computer for more then 20 minutes at a time for the past 2 (3 including how today will be) days.
Yesterday I did some driving around with Jenn and them.
The fight has kind of blown over...because it would just be stupid
to hold a grudge and even stupider to continue to be sad when I have a
chance to just kind of shove it away.
The day before yesterday I was at Janets.
Played lots of rockband,
and I think I have a video I can upload later.
I have mastered playing guitar and singing on a whole bunch of songs,
including 2 fob ones and a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song.
I can play the drums too, but I don't like them that much.

Woke up in a way I don't like to wake up in.
Because I had to get out of bed right away to go
to the bathroom, and then my whole self just felt out of sync.
Sitting in my room now, eating some breakfast.
Listening to this song that's been on the radio that has been stuck in my head.
'Dead End Countdown' - The New Cities.
I'm not sure how great a song it really is,
but the guys voice is kind of appealing and it's just..IDK.
Catchy. Love it, really.
Haven't had much chance to check the lyrics, though.

I think there's somethnig stuck in my tooth.
I need to find the floss.
Especially before I go to Lindace's baby shower.
I knew about this event for a while, but I never knew when the date
was. Turns out, today.
I'll probably be wearing a black skirt, a red silk shirt underneath a slightly fitted gray one.
And then grayish shoes, I guess.
I wanted to wear a skirt because I don't really have any good pants,
and then the only one I haven't touched in a while was the black one.
And I thought 'black...to a baby shower?' and tried to add in the colour.
Hopefully it'll be good.

Lots of pics to share soon,
whenever I can sort them out and get on to facebook.
Some will be put up here, but only my favourites.

I've got a ton of stuff from JJ's b-day yesterday.
We all wore party hats, and the cake was amazing...
because /I/ made it. (:

I just wanted to say that no matter how it would seem,
I am not sitting here soaking in my miserable attitude...again.
It's just that this is my blog, and it's where a lot of thinking happens.
Which would explain what the entry below is, thoughts.

I just didn't want Amy to be sad, thinking that
I'm miserable. Because I'm not, really.
Not that much. Okay, maybe a little.
But I'll be fine.

I forgot all the things that I would say.

Today wasn't a very good day.
I looked good, and my hair was well behaved...
I found some good music..
had some cake...

but my sister thinks I'm gay,
and I don't really have any friends at all.
It's pretty depressing.
I cried quite a bit.

But I talked to my mom for a bit,
and she actually...was mom-ish.
She did all the things moms are supposed to do,
and even fed me a line or two of that bullshit
mom stuff.
But it made me feel better,
and I spent pretty much the rest of the day doing things
I hadn't for a while.

Like dancing to The Cab and sining to
YMAEWK.
And watched Video On Trail.
FOB was on it.
And most of my favourite Jurors.

My good white bra broke, the underwire came right out when I took it off to take a shower.

But mom fixed it for me.
I did get quite pissed off before that,
while I was still in the bathroom.
Silently.

Today was kind of one of those 'If I don't laugh, I'll cry' days.

Good music for such a day:

The Killers ('Change Your Mind', 'Smile Like You Mean it' and more, but I don't have the other songs I like because I can't find my CDs.)
Fall Out Boy ((From Under The Cork Tree.))
Tokyo Police Club ('Cut Cut Paste', 'Cheer It On', 'Be Good')
Paper Route ('Cityscape', 'Are We All Forgotten')
The Cab ('High Hopes in Velvet Ropes' , 'Bounce')
You, Me, And Everyone We Know ('...Because I Spit Hot Fire' )
Valencia ('Where Did You Go?')
Voxtrot ('Firecracker')
and other stuff.
I don't really know,
I just kind of randomly listening to things today.

I'm still pretty mad at Jenn.
Not just for the gay thing, but for other things too.

She doesn't pay attention to the things I say.
She'll listen, but she isn't hearing it.
Or sometimes, she isn't listening at all.
I'll be talking, and she'll completly cut me off.
And if I ever ask her about something,
she doesn't really give much of an opinion.
It's hurtful, I never noticed before.

And Seasons. She just talks to me to be nice.
And she only even IMs me on facebook to ask if Jenn is home.

When I was saying to Jenn about it,
she was like "Yeah, cause she's /my/ friend." and was kind of laughing.
It made me feel stupid, because I remember a time before
when things were different.
I don't know what's happened for things to change.
But it really does make me sad.
Because I know she's lying to me too, about something.
The something that has to do with Gowri,
and it makes me more sad.
Why else would she feel so bad about it?

I'm always nice to her, and I compliment her and talk to her about things.
She doesn't talk to me about things because she says that I wouldn't understand,
and then complains about how she has no one to talk to later.
One of her reasons for thinking I'm gay is because I don't talk to her about boys.
A) What boys do I know to talk about?
B) Why would I when she doesn't.

What do we even talk about anyway that's anything interesting or important?
When do we even /talk/ ?!
It's usually some form of a one-sided conversation.

I'm always getting left behind by her. I'm always getting ignored, or pushed to the side or something.
First it was when she would go out, when we were both young.
And then when she moved out around that same time.
And now, it's because of her kids and her problems, and all of these things that make her life hard.

I wish we could be the kind of sisters that you read about,
the kind of sisters that you see all the time and watch movies about.
But I don't think we ever will be.

I'm going to end this now,
because I have to put songs on my MP3 and then go to bed.
Because tomorrow me and mom are gonig to Janets house.
I hope I wake up in a better mood then the one I am going to sleep in.

P.S.: Dollface, on first glance, he kind of looked like Kellan Lutz. But only a little bit. When I compared, there wasn't much similarities after all.

I made *another* headband today.

More details at my other blog,

www.thisiswhatafashionbloglookslike.blogspot.com

DON'T READ THIS POST IF YOU DON'T WANT FOBT TO BE SPOILED.

Fall Out Boy Trail

Was unleashed today.

I finally beat the game just a bit ago, too.

i'll upload some of my favourite screenshots for you to

see. (:

http://lookbook.nu/

I want to be apart of that.
I am going to be a part of that.
But, it is invitation only.
I have to apply, I don't know any members.
So, I'm going to start a blog to show off my style.
Because you have to put a URL to your blog/site.
I'll build up the blog for about a month,
and then I'm going to apply.
It's a good thing I have a camera now, eh?

Woke up aagain at 7:30.
Not because I felt sick,
just because the shower was on,
which woke me up because it's right up against the far wall of my room.

And it was amazing.
I woke up,
AND I DIDN'T HAVE A HEADACHE.

I was literally just laying there, fucking amazed.
I felt normal temperature, and just normal.
I got up and went to the bathroom, went into the kitchen because mom was there
and said good morning.
Went and laid back in bed.
I'm not completely better though.
After I got back into bed I got a bit of a headache again and a tiny bit of a fever.
Lots of snot, too.

But, I'd rather feel like this then feel like I did yesterday.


It's storming like crazy outside.
Rain, and wind and all that.
But it looks cool,
because the clouds are light and the grass is amazingly green.
I didn't notice before how it was lighter for such a long time,
until it suddenly wasn't.

Staying in bed today.
I'm not taking any chances at all.

Woke up at 6:35am with a wicked disgusting fever.
I was so hot, but then I would feel cold if I went out of the blanket.
And my head was throbbing.
And I couldn't even cough or blow my nose anymore,
because there was stuff there but I couldn't
get enough power in my cough or of blowing my nose
to get anything but a little bit of mucus out.
And I just felt...weak.
I couldn't think, and my stomach was hurting and I couldn't take deep breaths...
and I just kept getting these pains in my chest and in my back,
and my ribs and my shoulders...
not at the same time, just ike a dot of pain like someone was poking me really hard in the shoulder.
With the chest/back/ribs I kind of think it felt like a mild stabbing.
And I was so tired, but I couldn't sleep.
I had the lights off but the TV I play video games on (ex: the only TV in my room) on for light.
I listening to 'I woke up near the sea' - lydia and whispered the words along
because there just wasn't anything else I could do.
I just felt sick.
And my stomach hurt, like I was hungry.
But it kept coming and going and I was just in this daze.
I took a bath at like 7:30,
it didn't help.
The water felt cold, but I knew it was atleast warm.
I slept for a while.
I don't know how long.
Sometime after 8.
I woke up when I heard sounds in the living room,
and just lay in my bed.
Hurting and wishing my mom would come in and cuddle me.
But I didn't want to wake her up.

And when she was awake, she didn't even think anything of my being sick
and I think she just thought it was like normal.
But it's not.
Because I'm feeling like that again.
My eyes hurt like I should do that sick crying, but I don't have any tears.
I feel bad, because I told Dollface last night I'd have posts waiting for her.
I only have half, because I did it last night.
I can barely think now to even try doing J&A's.

My back hurts.
My hands are cold.
My body is cold, but my face is warm and
I feel like I'm boiling but I feel like I'm freezing,
and it's just so confusing.
I thought today I would be better.
This sucks, because I didn't get to use the camera at all, really.

Oh, and last night before bed I was messing with my camera and I accidently
stepped on the dog a little.
He bit me.
It hurts, and it looks kind of gross.

I can't really cough or blow my nose, again.
When I do cough the bit that I can,
it shakes my whole body.
When I blow my nose, it's only like half.
I sneezed just a bit earlier before I wrote this,
and it felt like my nose was being ripped off my face, only
less.

I'm going to take a shower.
Maybe the hot water and the steam will help,
it usually does when I feel like shit.