I woke up at 4:50am today instead of 6.
I feel..hyper.
XD

Have a good day.
Fo' realz yo.

Good morning.
The clouds are over the sky.
And the joy I feel from the sun is not here.
But I take comfort, knowing that it hides beneath the bulky curtains.. waiting.

Aidez-moi.
J'ai oublie comment s'envole dans le ciel.
Aidez-moi.
Je ne comprends pas.
Aidez-moi.
Je suis perdu.
Aidez-moi.
J'ai besoin de vous.
Ici.

Help me.
I have forgotten how to fly in the sky.
Help me.
I do not understand.
Help me.
I am lost.
I need you.


An almost perfect poem.I used lots of knowledge I have plus google translater to work it out.
I think I feel like this today.
I think I feel like a goldfish in a tank today.
I think that those are not good things.
Here.

I thought today would be the day

My day

But it turned out that it isn't

And I'm left with my mouth hanging open in surprise

My high spirits plummiting

A head on crash

Into a brick wall

I am not sure

about today

I am not sure of anything right now

Not even my name

or where my brain is

I need a map

Could you help me?

Help me find myself

BE myself?

And then there is days when everything is going well.
And then someting comes up,
BOOM.
In your face.

Somedays I feel like my life is like a poem in a book.
Others, I am a goldfish in a tank.

Think about it.

So. I've been away a few days.
Not from my house or my daily life, but from my blog.
I just didn't think about it.

NO. I was not off crying in a corner like an emo kid.

NO. I was not in the hospital spoon feeding my poor little grandma.

NO. I was not in your pants.

Haha. Couldn't resist the last bit.
Sorry there.

Mostly that's a bit of an inside joke.. the last part.
My bffl somehow always has her pants undone when we're at her house. Seriously. And she NEVER notices. I point it out, and one day she says "I don't do this.WHO does this?"
That was the funniest thing to happen to me that day.
Only because when I got home the button on my pants fell off.

Anyhow.
I spent all of french period drawing a pretty picture the other day. On my hand.
It looked SUPER cool and I'm thinking I'll draw a better one on someone elses hand, take a pic and then set it on here.
I think I'd do better if I could use two hands as my paper but be able to draw with my right hand. I'm crap as it is so using my left to draw on my right doesn't work.

Still working on that poem.
Still reading magazines.
Not still sitting at home all day on the computer.

I've decided to like running.
My french teacher was talking to us the other day.. because we were all complaining about having to run the 2 kilometer run. And also because she likes us and sort of needs to talk to teach.
ANYWAY.
She was talking about this one thanksgiving..when she was out. Just running because she felt like it. It was sunny, and a nice day. Kinda cold, but there she was in her shorts taking a quick around the block thing. She sees this little old lady, barely moving. Walking on the sidewalk with a cane and everything. Ms. J greets her with a cheery 'Happy Thanksgiving' and the lady stares at her. Just stares. And says, "That must feel so good." and continued on. Teacher went on a bit more, and then stopped. Collapsing and bawling her eyes out. Thinking all these profound thoughts about how others can't run. About how she can run and how others can run too but choose not to. How they take it for granted.
She said "Do. Because you can."
Or something along those lines, and it's become my..I dunno.
My new thought. The thing I say to myself when I don't feel like doing something. Or when it is challenging and I want to stop. I've been pushing myself because I can. I'm doing this right now because I can. I'm going to school because I can. And I'm doing everything I can to stay positice and cheerful. Because I can. And there are people that can't. And I pity them. I pity them because doing what you can because you want to, because you are allowed to is one of the best feelings.

Think of people with no legs. They can't run. Or people in a land that is in conflict. They aren't safe. And they can't express their thoughts or opinions. Because I can do those things, I am grateful. And I am starting to discover that life does have a brighter, lighter, lovelier side.
And I feel good.

My grandma is in the hospital.
My dads mum.

I never really knew her. I mean.. we went over there some holidays, I've met her about three or four times.

But.. it still.. I regret not being able to have a close relationship with her.
I want to visit her. I want to cry.
I want to donate everything I have to cancer research.
But I've already done one of those things, and I don't think I'd be allowed to do one, but the one that is left is plausible.

Sooo.. I would've written earlier, like this morning for example.. but I had huge techniqual difficulties.
The laptop messed up majorly because it was trying to install fucking updates, and I ended up having to re-set it to how it was when it left the factory. Like 20 some-odd times.

My mom was a big help in that, since after awhile, I couldn't quite handle the crap anymore.

But it should be up and running soon, I just have to wait for windows to check the computers preformance or whatever. I think I'm like 20% done. Meh.

I got a laptop for valentines day.
I screamed extremely loud. It was hilarious. :]