http://maybearicedreamgirl.tumblr.com/

Revamped the tumblr I made forever ago.

Enjoy.

"Keep being awesome!"

From passive-agressive notes.

Just woke upp a bit a go...

going to Transformers 2 at 10:30 for the midnight screening.

Umm...just applied to this awesome sounding job, just 'hanging out' / babysitting

these 2 girls that are 9 and 10, and like...just making sure they don't kill each other. But they are very well behaved, appearantely and they have a pool, so that'd be like....awesome.

$150 dollars a week for hanging out, so. Maybe meeting tomorrow, that'll be great.

I was the first to phone, so...I hope that I get it.

Got a fabric marker and some studs.

Murdered a long sleeve and made it a v neck t so that I could use both of those items.

My arms look horrible in this pic, I think.

=/

I NEED YOU HERE WITH ME //playlist.

'Tremors' - Two Tongues.*

'He Took Her to a Movie' - Ladytron.*

'Makes Me Wonder' - Maroon 5.*

'Situations' - Escape the Fate.

'Rice Dream Girl' - Casiotone For The Painfully Alone.

'Bixby Canyon Bridge' - Death Cab for Cutie.*

'I Feel Better' - Frightened Rabbit.*

'Wolves At Night' - Manchester Orchestra.

'Hold On' - Hot Chip.*

'Wowee Zowee' - Two Tongues.*

'I Miss You' - Blink-182.

'I'm A Terrible Person' - Rooney.

'Behave!' - Frightened Rabbit.

'Rain' - Bishop Allen.

'Colourful Language' - You, Me, And Everyone We Know.

'Gotta be Alone' - Mansions.

'Hearts Of Iron' - Handsome Furs.

'I'd Be More Interested if You Were Already Spoken For' - You, Me, And Everyone We Know.

'Yucatan Gold' - Throw Me the Statue.

---

Two Tongues, is insanely awesome.

Really, really, really, awesome.

They showed up in my recommendations last night,

and I was super curious right away because it's Max Bemis and Coby Linder of Say Anything, along with two dudes from Saves The Day. Now, I've never really heard the other band. But Say Anything is awesome! And their lead singer likes YMAEWK (because they are kind of similar, imo) and he has a great voice, too. So it was just appealing. But then I heard this, and it was just like... "wow" and then I heard 'Wowee Zowee' and it was like, "whoa" and I catapulted them onto my 'all time faves' along with the likes of Beach House, YMAEWK, DATH, FOB, This Providence, Sea Wolf, etc. Stuff I'll never get entirely sick of.

I really really really really suggest you listen to at least those two songs by them. And if you don't like it, well. Maybe listen again. XDDD

I personally just think they are great.

And they're rather new, too. Their self titiled album just dropped february 2009. (:

This isn't all that I'm listening to lately, but I don't want to make this playlist too huge.

The ones with '*''s are the ones I've been singing lately, and therefore LOVE just a bit more.

I have a lot to blog about.

Originally it was just going to be like 2 posts,

one about what my day is going to be today...

and another that'd be a playlist.

But then I was reading Pate's blog as I so often do, to merely stay informed and such...and saw what I put in the below post.

Thought it was worth it's own, since it was so rather intriguing.

So, anyway. Mom's b-day was yesterday. But no one really had money until today, so.

Jenn got a cake in secret, and is picking it up like...now, along with some flowers.

And then they'll all come over and we'll sing happy birthday, etc.

Probably going to go to back to Jenn's with them after that, and whatnot.

Mom woke me up this morning asking me if I was hungry.

She called a cab and we went to cash her check, and then we went over to quiznos

and tried their new torpedos.

Yummy, yummy, and yummy.

I had bacon beef cheddar, or something. It was good.

And I got pommegranate green tea, and grabbed a nanimo bar to split.

We ended up having the bar later, though. But it was nice.

Having breakfast and talking, it was fun. We haven't done something like that in a while.

When I got back I took the dog for a walk.

Later, me and jenn are going shopping for THONGS.

rofl. And other things.

I just had to put that in there, because a lot of people know

I think those are like super uncomfortable but jenn is persuasive.

And so is mom. I don't want to be left out of their little so called underwear club.

Even though that's something I just made up, but they both do so why not me?

I know, I know. Alittle TMI.

XD

I'm a bit hyper.

Gotta save some change to go to the library...

but Jenn is getting a car today/tomorrow so she could probably even just drive me there.

Just waiting for my ipod to charge, then I'll probably head to the wal-mart to grab a pop, because no one has gone grocery shopping yet and I'm thirstyy.

Playlist to follow, and a lot of raving about this awesome band I found out about.

When I saw this, I immediately thought that Tiffany Blews was going to be the next single, and that the video was going to have a concept similar to that time when Britney's 'Break The Ice'

but I google'd 'Fall Out Toy Works' and came up with this website, that prompted me to put in my email for more information. Having not yet recieved any email, I google'd some more and came up with an article that said this:

So what happens when you combine Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy and the folk’s over at Image Comics? Well you get the soon to be released comic entitled Fall Out Toy Works, of course. The five issue series is based around the song “Tiffany Blews” off the bands album Folie à Deux which came out this past December. The background for the comic is:

“It tells the story of a brilliant young robot maker who risks his entire company for his factory’s newly produced android named Tiffany as she becomes his greatest passion and potentially his own destruction.”

Fall Out Toy works will be written by Brett Lewis and Sam Basri will be the artist. Look for the first issue to hit stores September 2nd.

I like the concept and will be checking this out when it gets released so make sure you are ready for the Beyond the Panels when it is.

A FOB comic book, eh? Well. I'd buy that.

Look like it'd be well drawn, in any case.

Good story line, too.

I just got back about half an hour ago.

I was going to get up at 5:20, but then I woke up at that time and it was cold in my room, so I ended up bundling back under my blankets, of course telling myself that I'd get up soon,

but then I fell asleep until 6:59.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to go anymore, without the anonymity of being out while it was too early for most people to be paying attention to anything, let alone awake, and without it still being partially dark. But I got up, tugged on sweats and a couple tanktops, socks and a pair of runners I've had for like 3 years, but have only been worn like 3 times that I remember.

It was cold, and for a long time I just walked, trying to figure out which way I was going to go.

I didn't want to run the way I walk the dog, because it's mostly flat. But I started heading that way... because there's this one park with a tiny tiny tiny bit of trees and this path, and whenever I walk the dog past there at night I feel like something is watching me, and in my imagination it's always some crazy fantasy creature. But anyway. I kind of just zig zagged for a long time, because I went up my street and then down the street next to mine (because I decided to head to the one park) but then I changed my mind and went up the street by the wal-mart, and kept going up because it's a hill. And I ran up most of it, then cut across to this park where I used to go for picnics with my classes in elementary, by these tennis courts. And so I ran down there, and then I went down this paved path that goes up to this other part of the park that has soccer feilds and where a pool used to be, and then I went back down that path and down the one path I walked with Tyler and got those awesome pictures, in the foresty area...and then I went down th e paved area that used to be the half way point for walking gowri home, next I just ran down the bit of street after that, through the catwalk, and back down my street.

I didn't run the whole way, but most of it. And when I did, I was running hard.

I think tomorrow I'll sleep in and opt to go on the thing we've got in the foyer, and then the next day I'll run again. A more reasonable time, 6:45 maybe.

I just like running, it's great.

Once I finally got going, I didn't want to stop.

It was like my legs didn't really exist, and I didn't really exist,

and I was just going and going and going, and there's music playing and this just rained in the forest mixed with a ripe berry smell, and the air was just so thick...but it was great. And the ground just disappeared beneath my feet, and I was just...gone.

I didn't have to think, and I would've just gone on forever but my body isn't used to this again, yet. It will be soon. I think one of the things that's going to get me through the summer will be running and things like it. And books. Speaking of those, I've got to go to the library soon. I've got 1.5 left to read. =/

Finally heard from dollface, so that's great.

Just waiting for a reply, but whatever.

If it takes a while that's okay.

Going to go grab a hot shower now, and then maybe make something to eat.

I made some oatmeal shortly after I got in, but I'm still kind of hungry.

And thirsty. But I all ready drank a lot of water, and I don't want to do that thing that can happen when you drink too much water too fast, and then like..it just messes you up.

IDK.

Today will be a good day to play dragon warrior IV.

I'm still only on chapter 1. =/

I was walking the dog, and I just kept going.

And going...and going.

Because I felt like walking.

In a few hours, I'm going to wake up at some horrible time,

to run. Because I feel like running.

Good night.

At home now.

Currently working on things for ITYSHT.

Probably goin gto walk the dog soon, because of that.

And to wind down more from being at jenns.

Um.

I don't really have anything to say.

Still at Jenns, ended up staying for like another night.

Meh.

Things are mostly the same, I just thought I'd put why I hadn't yet updated.

And, also because of a lack of something to do.

I...have a lot of feelings running around in my head.

A lot of thoughts. I don't want to unwrap it all while I'm not at home,

I may implode.

There's just too much, I think.

And I'm angry.

At me. But it is complicated, and I am going to leave it.

I forget the things that I've said, and a lot of the things I was going to say.

The days are too long, and there is more and more time that I figure this blog isn't of much use.

Today I feel itchy and restless and impatient.

An almost angry, upset kind of feeling.

But it's tucked inside this other girl, and I don't know if that really is what I feel anymore.

Maybe when you're different all the emotions change their shapes, and you have to figure it all out again. But that sounds crazy, and I don't feel as different as I did.

I can tap into something I couldn't quite name the other day, though.

This girl likes to observe. I feel a lot as if I am only on the outside, looking in.

Or on the inside of the outside, watching myself watch everyone else.

I don't know. And it doesn't matter.

The world is like wind, flapping away all the flower petal thoughts I think in a breeze.

Lately, at least. But some things stick.

Time is not one of those, despite the days length.

I'm rambling.

I'm done.

Went to the library yesterday, and got some books.

Travelled a lot, along the bus.

Gave my seat to an older lady, since I was sitting in the priority seating. I stood there for a little while, and I smiled at her. She smiled at me. She said thank you, and I said you're welcome. I went and sat over in another spot, because I noticed

that there were seats open a bit farther back.

So. I went to the library, and awkwardly registered.

Awkward, but still somehow confident.

Confident that I belonged there.

That I was meant to be there, and that that was my sort of world.

Books and words and ink and people.

Quiet, unaffected, and separate but still around.

I picked six.

I've gone through two already.

The titles I can recall, but not the authors.

I'll list the rest later, but now there is other things on my mind.

Things I thought about just before sleep...

love, honesty, time...

friends, lonliness ,dreams, things that aren't real.

In the hazy, half-dark...lying there in a bed that wasn't mine in a summer

that feels entirely new... I felt different.

Fragile, but unbreaking. Like glass. Clear and easy to read.

Sometimes cloudy, or knocked. But strong.

Dropped at times, but not yet shattered. Or maybe I have been.

I just feel different.

Reading This Is What I Want to Tell You

by Heather Duffy Stone...it just kind of fit.

Sitting out in jenns too-bright backyard, on a blanket in sunshine...

I didn't really feel like me. My skin was too dark, and my hair too red.

The face in the mirror was even different, somehow.

Prettier, knowing. Knowing?

I don't know what I know.

It seems like a world of things.

I feel like some quiet, mysterious kind of girl.

Someone else. Things are changing.

And there are so many things that I wish for.

Pathetic things.

Desperate, willful.

And I miss tany.

Especially in reading the book, these two friends end up being friends again.

And everything just kine of eases back into normalcy, and I...won't get that.

Someone else, maybe. At school, this fall.

Yes, school this fall.

I'm not going back to the other one, a new one.

A new chance, starting over. But...it will be hard.

I made this decision some months ago.

Voiced it again and set things in motion what would've been...5 days a go.

Maybe a week. It feels like more. It feels like an eternity.

I feel like the summer is already have over, but it's barely begun.

I don't know what else there is to have, to do.

I just know that waking up this morning and sitting in jenns quietly crowded living room felt like home.

It felt normal.

Reading a book and listening to their banter, contributing and eating yogurt.

It was just...good.

It filled uo that hollow space, and I wish it could just be this way.

I wish life could just be better.

And there are so many more things to say, and I just...am having trouble formulating the words now.

In this carefully, mysterious sort of state of mind... buzzing and trying to understand.

Full of wishes and silly thoughts...

I just can't.

Things are changing.

For the most part it's for the better.

But...there are other things.

Less to do with me, and that I worry of.

I can't even wrap my mind about it, and I don't even know.

What I do know, is that it will be okay if I suddenly shatter.

To let something get to me that way, it would be alright.

It would be human. It would be okay, and things would resolve somehow.

I think that could be one of the major differences.

That I can realize this now, know it and not worry about it and just...

just live. Do the things I want to do when I want to, because even if I end up wanting to regret it...

I won't. Because at some point, whatever it was was exactly what I wanted.

I can't really explain, how it works. Because I don't even really know, but...I do.

But it's hard. I don't really want to.

That's probably why I can't, because deep down I don't want to.

But some day, I'll reach and get it out.

For now, it doesn't matter.

WHAT WAS THAT?//playlist.

'Not Listening' - Sick Of Sarah.

'Enter One' - Sol Seppy.

'Rice Dream Girl' - Casiotone for the Painfully Alone.

'Born in the U.K.' - Badly Drawn Boy.

'What's Free Is Yours' - Pony Up!

'Sunday' - Sia.

'Is There A Ghost' - Band Of Horses.

'Creator' - Santigold.

'Sweet Temptation' - Lillix.

'Skin & Bones' - Marianas Trench.

'Catch My Fall' - Katy Rose.

'All To Myself' - Maraians Trench.

'Lines Bleed' - Pony Up!

'The Apocalypse Song' - St. Vincent.

'Postcards' - An Horse.

'This Is How We Kiss' - Throw Me The Statue.

'The Alamo Is No Place For Dancing' - The Scene Aesthetic.

'Kill The Director' - The Wombats.

'Breathe Me' - Sia.

'September' - Marianas Trench.

'Absolute Balance' - Johnny Foreigner.

'Eyes While Open' - La Rocca.

'Orange Crush' - Stefy.

'Camp Out' - An Horse.

'Blankets in the Grass' - Balance Problems.

Just got back from skateboarding with james.

It was awesome.

We were in the wal-mart parking lot, because there's this one part where it's always empty and no cars go and barely any people go.

So like, I was practicing some minor stuff like shuffling my feet over to the ends of the board, and lifting the nose. I can do that stuff alright, but not really.

And then James was like "here, try this trick." and goes on the skateboard, and the goes like he's going to nosegrind the curb, but basically just like..puts the on part on, and then you go off and keep going.

So, I got on and then he pulled me and I held on to his arms, and then I lifted the end...

and I almost got it a bunch of times, and I did do it like twice with his help.

And then there were these guys about his age that were roller blading, and they thought I was so cool. XDDDDD

Anyway. So he was talking to them, and I was trying to do the trick on my own.

And I almost had it. But then I fell on my ass.

James said it was a cool fall, though...because it looked like I was just going like how you would flop onto a couch. It didn't hurt, but whatever. It's the principle.

The really funny thing, though is that I almost fell off, and that hurt more than falling. XD

I was like, trying to swing the board by lifting the nose and then swining it around, but I went forward at a weird time and angle, and almost fell. And my one arm went oneway, and my body kind of went the other...and it was just like weird. But then I caught myself, but it sucked because my shoe was coming off and it was almost a nasty fall.

And there was another one, too. Because it was when we were just getting there, and I was trying to turn or practising lifting the nose or something...and then I went forward, and I almost would've fell and like...it would've been bad, but then I caught myself and didn't even get to the ground. Lucky, lucky.

I told james that if I know how to do the noesgrind/curb cap thing by next thursday, I'll buy us a pizza and some pop from panago to celebrate. So, hopefully I can do it because that'll be fun.

I worked out on the machine thing, too. So I am like beat.

But it was fun. I love feeling my muscles work, and the sweat and my heart race and my chest ache, etc. etc. It's just great. A true feeling of being alive, I'd say.

I'm sticky and gross with sweat. Just waiting for mom to get out of the bath, and then I will take a shower in a few minutes after that. Maybe I should take the dog for a walk before that because I only took him on one. But it'd have to be short, because I am like...ready for bed right now.

Or maybe I won't, because we went on a long one today...yeah.

I think I'll just get into my pajamas and then play some dragon warrior IV.

Hmm, yeah.

Sounds like a definite plan.

I spent the majority of today just waiting.

Now, I'll....I don't know.

Take the dog out, and then go take a bath.

Re-read one of my books or the magazine I bought today and try not to be as miserable as I could be. I'm actually reletively okay, right now. I'm just saying it could be worse, and the choice of words that ended up being used made me sound like some HXC emo kid.

Downloaded a lot of great artists/bands lately.

Sol Seppy, The Goodnight Anthem, La Rocca, Casiotone for the Painfully Alone (how fitting =/ ), Yo La Tengo, St. Vincent, Johnny Foreigner, Badly Drawn Boy. I like Sol Seppy, Badly Drawn Boy, La Rocca, and CFTPA best, so far.

A playlist to come, later...I'm sure.

For now, I'm going to go waste some time on the eliptical machine mom got in some random way.

it's sitting in our foyer, it might as well go to good use, eh?

That hollow, sad sort of feeling I've grown accustomed to is here.

Resting in my heart, in my mind. In my very core, and every thought.

Ebbing and flowing like waves, lapping at my skin and leaving me raw.

Fragile, defeated.

There is nothing to say that hasn't been said, and no point in saying them again.

So many things exactly the same, but this is worse.

I am uncomfortable and restless, and not even about to bother with writing much more.

I've been keeping an entirely private recollection of my days in wordpad, this is more like just going through the motions. I can't bring myself to stop, but going on is just as difficult.

Been hanging out with Jenn and stuff, good times.

Job interview to be a server at a banquet later.

Haven't exactly quit the other job, but this would be better.

(:

More interesting post later, I just woke up...can't really think of much.

Yesterday was a good day.

Skateboarded some, and I actually wasn't half bad.

At about 10 I went out to skateboard somemore,

and james came with me, and he was like "Wanna go down a big hill?"

It wasn't very big, but it still was.

Like, it wasn't huuuge, but it was enough that it was slightly dangerous.

So, we go off. Mostly walking, but I skateboarded some and then he did, and he showed me a lot of cool tricks and tips. I fell down because of this giant part of uneven sidewalk, but it was down into the grass so that was okay.

So we keep going to the hill, and then we go almost to the top.

I get on, and go...and james is just like yelling "Keep going! You're going to make it!"

While I go for a bit, and then the board starts swerving insanely due to speed and the fact that the wheels are loose. (I found out the latter after the fact.)

He did tell me before doing this how to steady myself out, though. And I managed to and make it all the way to the bottom. I had my hands up near my face, and all I was thinking was "shit, shit, shit, shit." because I really didn't think I was going to get all the way, and James said he didn't know either and was like worrying, but then I did and he was like "YEAAAH!"

and it was awesome.

So then we were walking back, and talking about snowboarding and he said about how he used to go with his class, and bring his walkman. And listen to like, deathmetal and stuff all like with a pounding beat, and he said it was so cool because he couldn't feel anything and you just go so fast... so I'm like "It would be especially cool with my heaphones, because..." and then I'm checking my pocket, looking for my ipod.

And it wasn't there. And I distinctly remember putting it in my pocket...

so James skateboards quickly up the hill to check.

But it wasn't there. So then we both get the idea that it might be where I fell, so we hurry and go there. James skateboarding and then I was running superfast to keep up, and then I skateboarded for a bit. And then we were walking down the street I fell on, and the part where I fell was dark. James just kept walking since he didn't see anything, but I saw a reflection of light on something shiny, and stopped and then looked closer...and there it was.

Lying right on the grass in plain view, still there after even like...10-15 minutes...maybe even longer. I was so lucky, to have made it down the hill and then to have found it. Riding back down our street, I just couldn't believe it.

Sweet Dreams from Kirsten Lepore on Vimeo.

Cutest little  video i have ever seen. (:

Good music, too.

Playlist// 'Every Wave Drags Me Closer To Sea'

I was going to not blog for more than three days, but now that I've started again I can't seem to quit.

---

'You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds' - Mayday Parade.

'Use Somebody' - Kings Of Leon.

'New Again' - Taking Back Sunday.

'Heart Attack' - Low VS Diamond.

'Life After Love' - Low VS Diamond.

'Not Listening' - Sick Of Sarah.

'Horizons' - An Horse.

'Teasing To Please' - Cute Is What We Aim For.

'Three Colours' - Sunset Rubdown.

'Atlantic Lungs' - Thieves and Villians.

'Lapdance' - N.E.R.D.

'This Is How We Kiss' - Throw Me The Statue.

'About To Walk' - Throw Me The Statue.

'Badboy' - Alice In Videoland.

'Six Feet Under The Stars' - All Time Low.

'Gimme Sympathy' - Metric.

'On A Slow Night' - Metric.

'Cheated Hearts' - Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

'No Past Land' - Russian Red. (FINALLY DOWNLOADED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I made it sound a bit worse than it is yesterday.

I mean, it's bad.

But Chris is doing better.

He didn't even have to stay in the hospital more than a few hours, so. 

Exhausted after a crappy sleep yesterday night, and then a busy day helping out and doing A LOT.

JJ and Tyler were at my house for most of yesterday, and then I came home and Nicholas came too. I got home and took the dog out right away to relax, and as soon as I got back I had to do so much. My mom said she was going to do most of the things, but she didn't.

I put nick to sleep, and JJ ended up in my bed with me. 

So, horrible sleep. And I went to bed late because of it, and mom got to go to bed early.

And then this morning nicholas was crying,and she didn't even get up I had to.

And now she's going to the store or some fucking thing, and I've only had like an hour break from kids for 2 fucking days. I'm so tired and so annoyed, I don't want to even do anything.

I managed to get Nick down for a nap, at least.

And JJ is still asleep, but neither of those will last v. long.

I was supposed to work today, too.

But  I decided yesterday that that wasn't going to happen, 

and I'm glad I did.

I didn't really want to write here, but.

It might be that I won't be online later, and 

this is a much needed update.

There was a huge emergency last night.

Everyone is mostly okay, but...IDK.

It's a long story.

Chris has a broken nose and some broken ribs.

His kidneys had some internal bleeding at one point.

Also a concussion, etc.

I can't say to much, but I really thought he was going to die.