Clearing my head.
I do not cry.

It shall work out. I shall be fine.

I just have to believe in it and not worry.

I have lost my lullaby.
Regained a new one in an unexpected way,
a safe guard coming forth to catch me...one I never really loved or undertsood..

Hey moon, please forget to fall down.

I am afraid of what lies ahead.

Hey moon, dont you go down.
Sugar cane in the easy morning.
Weathervanes my one and lonely..

What morning is easy.
I ask that to you, as the one that I shall waken too shall not be.

I know the worlds is a broken bone.
But melt your headaches.
Call it home.

Home. I dont believe I want one anymore.
But I have calmed some, to lip synching along..
the cold water of my bath suffocatingly deliberate.

You are at the top of my lungs
drawn to the ones that never yawn...

I think thats how the last bit goes.
Ohh.. how did they know my life so well.

I need to talk to a certain someone..
desperately.
I am here only for that reason,
as you are not available.

Goodnight moon.
Please, forget to fall down....

It's late. I know I should be asleep.
And I've just now realized I've been ignoreing the 'Title' function..
oh dear.
ANYWAY.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqNwUqNvGuA
Check itt.

AND YES. I did steal that link off of a certain blog. XP

I wish '****' Live in Phoenix would come to a theatre in CANADA for one night only..

hopefully my spamming brings about some results.

IF NOT,

oh well.

I'll cry and then...and then.. sulk. Sulk and pout and angrily blog for many,many days.



OH.

Fire and Brimstone by Black Lungs? ONE OF MY NEW FAVOURITE SONGS. <33



Hehe.. and thanks to limewire, P(!)ATD's new stuff now graces my ears.

YUM.



Since if the clouds were singing, I'd have to sing too.

Or atleast ask if anyone else could hear it..to prove I wasn't crazy.

I think I should go..shower.
Or something.
I've kinda just been sitting here..blogging.
Not that there is much else to do.
Time is moving slow today.
Or maybe I'm just not used to being up this time of morning.

This blog has so much potential..
it almost makes me sad that only about two people (not including myself)
have ever laid eyes on it..
perhaps I shall advertise a bit..
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA.
Ha.
Hm.

I've started to notice from reading this all,
that my mood changes from day to day.
I never really noticed before..
because often theres so many things going on today I dont ponder
on yesterday.
I think I'm going to do some extensive reading of a blog...
you know like, mine this time.

http://www.mindistortion.tv/pocketemo/?data=4-3-18-2-1-1-0-0-0&name=3M0L053R

Best ''hat'' ever, hands down, no competition.

As you've probably noticed..
I have wayyy too much time on my hands.
But whatever.

I'm entertaining when I'm bored.

Speaking of boredom.
Took some random snaps of stuff in my room.

------- desk area...which is so messy. XD

Bookshelves and my chair = more mess. v v v

Celing and the wall above my desk at a strange angle... to show all the posters and pictures and that.-----

Part of my bed. v v v

The area around my dresser and closet and door. MORE MESS.------

--------Hello Kitty Clock I found at a flea market last summer. BEST find of the day, and cheap too. Only $5, and it works. Just needs a new battery.

v v v A picture I drew forever ago.

Hey look. It's me.-------------

Tried to set up a blog on tumblr...
but I fail miserably.

http://thisiswhatabloglookslike.tumblr.com

SO much for following a trend. XP

Best picture of FOB ever.

You can read about it meelikey.com <<<<>

"i mean if we have iphones and hybrid cars couldnt we invent some new insults."

Pete may be a pretentious loser, but he can be very right at times. I guess I kinda love to hate him. Frienemies I think it's called.. only..not really because.. he doesn't know me. XD

http://www.nicholasscimeca.com/

"By posting pictures of myself, I am also broadcasting the message, “It’s ok to be photographed even if you are not a model.” This may subtly influence people to post their own pictures; as a result, they will become more aware of their own image. As a result of that, they may learn to accept their unique physical traits as just that — unique traits — instead of flaws to be hidden.
Covering up freckles with make-up or arching your neck forward to stretch a double chin does not actually change your body. It simply creates a new complication on top of the old one, by way of dishonesty. Adding complexity to a system is a technique for creating, not solving, problems."





Got that from the above link.


Ahh..the lovely nature of the blog.


I love it.

This picture is rather boring..but I'll leave it as is for now.

Perhaps I'll do some interesting picasa stuff with the next one. :]

Didn't end up going to school.
I feel asleep at 2:40AM, got up at 6am,
(about three hours of sleep)
Got ready and that,had my shoes on, and sat down for a minute...
and fell asleep until 4pm.
Shocking?
Not really.
But I really need some help with this not sleeping thing.
It's wearing on me.
Anyhow.
I dont think I'll be getting my tickets.
And that makes me so...so incredibly sad.
I suppose I shall sulk now.
And listen to some songs that I probably wont see live.

Birthday in a week.
I face the lions tomorrow.
My reward is purchased wednesday and I get it on May 21st.
Pehaps it's worth it.
I can't really be sure.

And then you fix me.
And I feel okay.
And I know that we'll be alright.

Like the sea,
constantly changing from calm to ill.
Madness fills my heart and soul
as if the great divide could
swallow me whole.
Oh,
how
I'm
breaking
down.
Some one come,
come and save my life.
Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead...
but now it's like the night
is
taking sides.
When all the worries that occupy
the back
of my mind..
Could it be?
This misery
will suffice.



I'm starting to hate love.
Hating to be loved
and loving to be a lover.
Where's my happy medium?

A new fear to add to the list.
One that surprises me sort of.

Comitment?

I mean... "You are my everything. I love you so much."
I should be so happy,
these tears welling in my eyes joy, not sorrow.

Love.
So delicate.
A leaf;
One day new and green,
blossoming and growing.
The next its fall, and the colour is fading,
the stem, the very foundation,
rotting away.
And then its gone.
A brown frilliege piece floating across the wind,
crumpled and cluttering the space around.

"999 out of 1000 isnt so bad.
You are perfect."

I am not.
And if I should disappoint you,
it'd break my heart.

Just kinda hung out all weekend.
Stayed up late, played guitar hero for like...6 fucking hours.
I got a wicked-ass cramp.
But whatever.
ANYWAY.
That was yesterday.
The day before that,
I played only a little bit.
Mostly just watched a movie and watched the guys do whatever.
Since they totally ignored me.
AND,
were drinking and didn't even offer.
Not that I would've had they.
I'm not an idiot.
But..still.
I could've..
uh..
IDK.
Watched them be idiots?
Sure.
That works.
Couldn't sleep last night at all.
Stayed up 'till like 5.
WHY?
Because I was fucking scared to death of the vampires.
We watched 30 days of nigth before bed.
Scariest thing ever.
Okay.
Not really.
But them things were crazy.
Extremely crazy and creepy.


So..
just asked for some input on what I should write.
Appearantly,
I should right about how
I hit the old, arthritus ridden dog with a ball in the head.
He kinda...looked afraid after that.
LOL!
So..yeah.
IDFK what to write.
Not that I really /have/ to write anything.
No one reads this.
Uh..yeah.
A couple days ago I typed Gowri's blog for her.
Her ideas.
I just wrote it down.
godienowplease.blogspot.com

So..check that.
I'll go and watch The Matrix for the 60billionth time and wait for lunch.


Check y'all on the flip side bitchez.
PEACE AND I'M OUT. XD

First day of spring.
It isn't sunny, but I feel it.
Hiding there beneath the clouds.
Waiting.
I have what I was looking for,
and my heart feels like it shall burst.
I'm happy.
Ready to face my battles.
School.
Family.
Stupid winter.
I don't care about it anymore.
I'm free.

Lying here.
In the dark.
Thinking of fear.
Of darkness.
How the dark seems to deepen when I'm alone.
Like it knows I'm lonely.
Like its dying to swallow me up.
It's 2:30am. I think of who I've talked to today.
Yesterday.
Whatever.
Only a few stand out.
The advice I got from my mother about shaving.
Thats one.
Another is this 'fight' over a certain someones (not me.lol.) insecurities.
Theres another one.
The last was about my fear.
Of the dark.
How he'd hold me so I wouldn't be afraid, if I wanted...

Tonight, my lullaby is that 'fix you' song by Coldplay.
It makes my feelings seem even more so.
It makes me think of my life...if you tweak the words a bit.

'When you try your best but you don't succeed..'

Hell with it. I don't feel like explaining.

For now, I just want to be held.
I know what I want.
Besides that.

Unconditional, unquestioned, unquestionable,
Love.

I don't even know
Why
The words dont come.
I dont even realize
When
They stop.
Until now.
When I dont know
what
else to say.
My brain stops.
Thoughts end.
Words die.
I am afraid.
Will it stop?
Dry up?
Finish?
Done?
But no.
Here it comes again.
That flow and familiar feeling.
My creativity.
My identity...
But then my mind seizes up,tense.
Unsure.
Is this okay?
Am I alright?
I do not know.
Is this to complicated?
Not enough words?
Who is to know.
For now,
It shall stop.

The past while has been..I don't know.
Lame.
Not much going on.
I just uh... kinda stuck.
I can't wait for spring break. Next week will be lovely.
TO just sit.
Think.
Yes.

Green themed blog. ;D

I JUST noticed it's march.
That's fucking crazy.

http://www.friendsorenemies.com/web/foe/journals/entry/1910651

I'm seriously addicted to the FOB cover of MJ's Beat It.
Seriously.
It's hella funky. Not to mention catchy..catchy sounding.
I'll post a link in a second or two. :]]]

Not much going on.
If there were, I'd be posting about it..
wouldn't I?

ANYWAY.
Woke up late this morning.
4 hours and 23 minutes late to be precise.
Didn't have to go to school though..so it worked out.
XD

Talk to you later losers.
Peace.