Woke up laaaate.

Because I fell back asleeep.

Kinda feel like a sheeep

with all these extraaa

'aaahhhh' sounds.

Haha. I don't even know.

I'm hyper as fuck right now.

And omg.

Clarinet version of About A Girl

by Guy Ripley is completely amazing.

o:

If low energy.

It's so damn classy.

Wrote this last night after I posted the other things. Decided to add it, because I am so lazy to get ready today.

This page was fresh.

It only takes a moment

to destroy

everything.

Years,

Months,

Weeks,

Days,

Hours,

Seconds,

time's up.

Just going to get ready for work.

Tired as fuck.

Didn't wake up well.

Because I decided to sleep in since I had no idea what time

I had to be up (I only slept until 7:45, so.),

but I was all shakey and confused anyway because

I kicked into overdrive panicking that Casey needed

me for 8AM and that was in like...20.

Haha.

I'm pretty much ready now and it is just hitting 8, though.

Which is funny because all I did was throw some clothes on.

Just gotta attack my hair and then pack my bag.

(:

Been listening to acoustic guitar based things a lot.

It's so pretty and strong, I don't know how I

ever find the time to abandon it for electro, etc.

I'm starting to hate anything rule-like.

And I think everything would go better if laws and rules and things were phrased

positively.

("No stopping on the bridge"

vs.

"Please always stay moving on the bridge.")

Dull summer heat,

slap-sharp in it's own right,

fills my pores.

Cells.

Parts.

Everything.

Sticks and clings,

conjures sweat.

Weighty and dangerous,

it almost

soothes,

if it didn't prickle.

Shut it out.

All

of

it.

Especially,

sounds.

Tap-tapping

and voices.

Drifting and intricate.

Foriegn but close.

Suffocating.

Too distant.

Making me uncomfortable.

Pressing

pressure;

it sizzles on my skin,

and

just

underneath.

Boils.

Bubbles.

Rises.

Like anger joined to lonliness.

I know I just posted a minute ago,

but I was just thinking about

attempting some more haikus later.

I'm determined.

Maybe it'll put all this extra thought energy to use.

Still need to walk the dog, though.

But I don't want to leave until Jaylin and Mom are on their way.

I hate to see her cry after me everytime I go to go somewhere.

Okay. That's all.

I'll leave this for a while.

The clackclackclackclackclackclackclackclack

sound of the keyboard mixed with everything else is just no good.

I forgot to say.

I looked up fishtail braiding because it had

always intrigued me since this time I saw it

in a magazine.

I learned well enough, and now it's my favourite thing.

I've worn it in variations for the past three days, but it's too much hassle for me

to want to try tomorrow.

Takes a lot of time to get it too look pretty,

because using tiny sections looks best.

Which doesn't make sense unless you know what I'm talking about, but I don't care.

Supposed to be going to the aquarium one of these saturdays with my mom.

They have new butterflies for a while.

From costa rica.

I saw them on the news, and they're beautiful.

While we were swimming today one of those white moths you always see kept flying over the pool. You'd think it had a death wish, considering all the other bugs that get sucked in.

But it was okay. Even though I wanted so much just to touch it.

Well.

I guess this is what comes of writing. And writing more.

And then even more, and then more than that, and then all the time and even when there's nothing to say, etc.

Because whenever I set myself down to begin something, I can't stop.

Words and words and words and words.

Dramatic things and so on.

I wish my spell check worked in here like it does in tumblr.

I hate having to click the little 'abc *check*' button by the place where you click to upload photos.

I missed Tan a lot yesterday.

I don't even have her number anymore, to phone. I think I ripped it up one day.

Right in half, and then half again, and then again.

Methodically.

There's so many words ringing around in my head.

Too much.

I think this is why I stopped writing like this,

it's all consuming and after a while it gets to be too much.

No wonder most geniuses are/were completely insane.

More more more more more freckles.

Tiny, itsy bitsy barely-there ones.

Maybe they grow in time.

I bet if I lived to be a thousand years old,

I'd just be the colour that they are.

Super tan beneath my perma-sunburn.

Spending 3+ hours in a pool just about every weekday

is probably the cause of that.

Fierce sore throat.

It's been here for days and days, but all it does is ache and look kind of gross

but I'm not quite sure, because I can't get the lighting right

that it'll hit the back of my throat properly.

Took the bus home from work today.

I was sitting in the seats for the elderly at the front,

and on that bus the seats are different and I'm too short

for those ones. Sitting back with my ankles crossed over one another, my feet were off the ground. That wasn't comfy though because when you sit in those seats you face sideways, and the bus movements jerk you all around, so I had my toes on the ground and sat in a way that I was kind of hunched forward, IDK. It was exhausting either way.

Jaylin is here.

But she's bothering me because this isn't anything I want now.

She just bothers me here, but at jenns house she is so much more behaved.

Nicholas's birthday is on the 10th.

I can't believe it's almost been a year since he was born, it's flown by.

Haven't had much time to write.

Since I went to the library yesterday, I've just been reading.

Two done already, 5 to go.

Not sure which one to start, so I'll wait until tomorrow because

I'll probably be taking the bus home again.

Casey's dad has been working double shifts lately,

and since she just opened her hair boutique, (fancy words for small, highend salon)

she's busy all day and absolutely couldn't get away to drive me.

One of her sisters came today to take the girls and drive me to the bus stop.

She seemed nice enough, I guess.

No one ever told me her name.

Not looking forward to work tomorrow.

I'm so tired, and it's so hot and I'd rather just be

by myself and do...anything.

I was walking by the park that always gives me the creeps like I do

just about everyday while I was walking the dog and saw the tiniest kitten.

I went back later to see if I could get the poor thing, but it was no where in sight.

Felt like a loser walking through the empty trails in there,

mewing and shaking a bit of cat food all around so even if I didn't find it, it'd get something yummy. But still. I looked, for a long while even.

Which is certainly something because I've never been in there.

I did say, it gives me the creeps.

JJ is crying.

I should comfort her, but I was up at 6,

and she's talking on the phone to her mom anyway.

She's going home, I just heard.

I wish I could go too, things are at their usual here.

When we were at the library ( I went with my mom. I don't feel like sharing about that because I allready wrote it down before and it's such a pain to repeat)

mom saw this thing about outdoors-ey stuff.

Kayaking courses and hiking and wakeboarding and canoeing and hiking and everything I could imagine. Not too expensive, even.

I hope that I'll be able to do something like that.

Tried cleaning my room last night and it was a mistake and a half.

I don't know what else to say.

Or do.

I'm rambling.

It's entertaining.

It's hitting 11 now.

I spent hours soaked in chlorine, so I'm going to go grab a shower

and try to wash the smell out of my very lungs.

And especially out of my hair.

It reminds me about how much I did today, and it just makes me more tired.

I get to sleep in tomorrow, though.

Not working until sometime after 12 because my boss is going in

early to meet with an inspector, etc. etc. etc.

Thinking about spending my spare time this year getting certified as a lifeguard.

There's good money in lifeguard jobs, and it's something I enjoy.

Probably just going to lie in bed, write and listen to music after my shower.

I could attempt to finish chapter 1 in DW4, but I don't feel like that tonight.

I don't feel like much of anything.

The house is much too quiet.

This is just some parts I took out of an extremely long telling about part of my day. I'm lazy to type the whole thing, and this one is more personal.

Staring at myself in the large mirrors of their upstairs bathroom after I'd peeled the black and almost skimpy second-skin of a two piece off, it was like seeing someone else.

An explosion of freckles, framing my my features like a specially designed tattoo. Even the edges of my lips and the occasional base of my eyebrow hairs were decorated with the natural polka dots. I like it. Kisses from the sun, making me prettier and showing off how much the warm weather loves me.

When I was younger, I remember thinking of freckles like little tokens from angels...

All the words I could

say back to you

have been repeated

so many times in

my head that they

feel useless and

redundant before

they even hit my

lips, or the tip of

my tongue.

I could never win

against you

anyway.

Beauty.

Lipstick smudge,

mascara run;

a girl once primped and pretty.

Torn, destroyed and dripped away

to bare bones.

It is inside.

Videogames rot your mind.

Trash and stupidity, ignorance.

Violence and gore, pixelated adoration.

Your brain needs a flash update.

My sanity flees in paragraphs.

Written of read,

the cells give way

for ink and imagination.

I don't mind.

I'd easily succumb to being a paperdoll with a wordy addiction.

Summer Dreams.

Summer dreams of twilight skies,

and hazy moonlight.

I dream of werewolves.

Looming, leering, with eyes on me as I walk.

Dark forests

and dreams slip into the day.

Haiku.

No clue how to write

a haiku poem of merit.

All my attempts fail.

---

Especially that one,

because the second line as 8 syllables even though

I totally tried super hard to make sure there was

7. =/

More writing.

I've been scribblings things into a book of construction paper I've recently aquired.

An odd diary, I know.

But it fits for me, I think.

I like how it can be multi-purpose.

Anyway.

I'll make up for my lack of posts here with the typed version

of all some of my writing.

Handwritten version looks prettier, though it would

probably would be harder to decipher.

Orange Tangerine.

10 steps to writing better:

Write.

Write more.

Write even more.

Write even more than that.

Write when you don't want to.

Write when you do.

Write when you have something to say.

Write when you don't.

Write everyday.

Keep writing.

---

So I did.

I wrote this poem, just now.

It rhymes, I'm pretty surprised.

Kind of a big blend of a lot of things

rolling around in my head.

---

Orange - Tangerine,

a colour too loud not to be seen.

Stark and unforgiving,

some people almost make a living

just trying to think of a rhyme.

If only I had the time,

I'd try.

But too busy am I,

wasting dreams on decorated apple pie,

baked and sugared in another kitchen,

But not even for the food, just a person really itchin'

to be met.

Or just set,

with enough time for us to talk.

And I wish we could take a lazy walk,

across a distant ocean shore.

But I'd surely be too much of a bore.

---

Thinking about entering it in the annual student summer writing contest hosted by the library.

Not sure yet, since I'll probably be writing more.